Weird, Funny & Bizarre Porn

Girls who wear latex and PVC are hot. They’re like pornstars, but kinkier. They’re the kind of girls that’ll do nasty things to you and then turn around and let you do nasty things to them!

And then there are the rubber fetishists. The ones who like full body suits, gas masks, artificial male bulges and giant rubber breasts. The kind that get all hot and bothered over scuba gear. The Germans (not surprisingly) are some of the more enthusiastic fans and purveyors of rubber fetish porn (German translation: gummi fetisch porno)

German studio Absurdum is one of the more notable producers of full-on rubber fetish, along with Marquis, the fetish magazine. (They have some very nice Dita Von Teese videos). American studio Gwen Media produces stylish and erotic rubber fetish videos that even a non-fetishist would like.

One of the funniest & most bizarre websites I’ve ever come across is Leather Oaks, the personal website of a leather, rubber and male bulge fetishist (”For long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated by the powerful curves of a good male basket.”)

For starters, check out the Christmas card page - 25 years of holiday greetings. My favorite pic on the site is the green He-Man getup to the left. Still, you gotta give it to the guy for being passionate about his interests. Even if it is rubber wading boots.

Our sister site, Japanese Fetish Videos, features a wide selection of unique and sometimes bizarre adult videos from Japan. This particular title (translated on the box as “jujuko costume play lesbian”) stands alone in its rather bizarre uniqueness. Sure, there’s plenty of mature lesbian videos, but this has got to be the first one to feature cosplay sex.

Take a close look at the front cover. Attractive, aren’t they? Now, truth be told, I took a little peek at the video and it’s actually not that awful. If older and slightly saggy asian women don’t repel you (or if they in fact turn you on) then you might actually enjoy this. It’s just that the cosplay seemed so… tacked-on.

I first came across this title in a skit from TV Funhouse, a short-lived show from SNL writer and animator Robert Smigel that aired on Comedy Central in 2000. The original skit, entitled “Porn for Kids,” featured a short excerpt from Silence of the G.A.M.S. that left only the opening title, some cheesy dialogue and end credits - sans the porn. It was quickly re-edited and retitled “Porn for Everyone” for subsequent airings.

So I was intrigued when I learned that this cheesy low-budget porno from 1992 was still available. The title is an obvious, but poor parody on Silence of the Lambs. Instead of Clarice Starling, we get Charlie LaTour, a middle-aged actress who looks more like your real estate agent than a porn star. And in place of Hannibal Lecter, there’s a fat guy masturbating behind bars. There’s also a black judge named Long Dong Silver who apparently lives at the prison.

This video is about as low budget as it gets. The G.A.M.S. HQ is identified by dot matrix printouts taped to the walls. There are like three sets in the whole film. The actors are uniformly ugly and/or fat. And of course, Something Awful is there to give you a full review and plot synopsis. If you really want to own a copy of this, you can buy it as part of a 4-disc set, Classic Adult Mysteries. Or, you can just check it out in our video theater.