Weird, Funny & Bizarre Porn

Since this is a bizarre porn blog, I’d be remiss in not mentioning the 2 Girls, 1 Cup shock video meme that’s been making the rounds as of late.

In case you’ve been living in a cave the last few weeks, 2 Girls 1 Cup is a very disgusting clip from a scatological Brazilian porn video featuring two otherwise hot girls. A Miami lawyer who distributed these videos in the U.S. was recently convicted of obscenity charges. The Smoking Gun has the scoop.

2 Girls 1 Cup is just the latest in a series of scatological shock memes such as Goatse and Tubgirl. This wiki has a huge list of shock sites, for the morbidly curious.

Perhaps the most significant effect of 2G1C are the hundreds of reaction videos posted on YouTube where unsuspecting friends and family members are subjected to scat porn. The grandmother one is very popular and quite funny.

In case you arrived here looking for it, here is is. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I have to admit, midget porn kinda creeps me out a little bit. Perhaps it’s a distaste for midgets in general, like that show “Little People, Big World.” I hate that guy. On a related note, here’s a link to that clip from South Park where Cartman fights a midget.

There’s been a relative explosion in midget porn over the last few years, with several studios cranking out midget porn videos on a regular basis. But considering the rarity of midgets willing to appear in porn videos, the same few actors appear over and over again. Which, when you think about it, is no different than the glossy superstar porn videos cranked out by big studios like Vivid.

The biggest (or shall we say, littlest) superstar in midget porn is Bridget “The Midget” Powerz. Of the nearly 100 midget titles in our library, she stars in at least half of them. From the neck up, she’s rather attractive! She’s appeared on TV shows such as Howard Stern, Cathouse and the Surreal Life. Other midget pornstars include Gidget the Midget, Twidget the Midget (tired of these midget names yet?), Tinny Tyler and Black Cinnamon.

And let’s not forget the little men! Representing the streets are Lil Pimp Hand, the 3′ 11″ midget with the 10″ cock, and IncrediblePass.com’s Baby Gangster, a hung 3-footer spunking on well-endowed multi-racial street chicks.

Here’s some free midget porn video clip galleries:

• Bridget the Midget
• Tinny Tyler
• Twidget the Midget
• Black Cinnamon
• Lil Pimp Hand

And finally, I leave you with a gallery of a male midget pornstar bathing himself in a wash tub.

The latest episode of Martin Sargent’s (of TechTV’s Unplugged fame) Web Drifter is an interview with Harold “Leather Oaks” Ivey, the man behind LeatherOaks.org. I’ve previously written about Leather Oaks in a post about rubber fetishes.

Mr. Ivey is a strident rubber and leather fetishist who’s very open about his passion. Here he gives Martin Sargent a tour of his home, talks about the life-sized wetsuited dolls he sleeps with and engages in a discussion about pre-cum.

Finally, a video that combines smoking, spanking and nun fetishes, along with ‘human ashtrays’ and a traumatizing dose of repressed Catholic guilt!

A young hoodlum is discovered smoking in the schoolroom by ‘Sister Morgana’. ‘Sister Irene’ was out patrolling the grounds when a cigarette fell from the sky. Additionally, this pupil had ‘hocked a loogy’ on the chalk board. Strict over the knee spanking and brutal hairbrush discipline. The punishment box is put to good use with rope bondage featuring ‘fanny attention’ with the taws and razor strap. A perverse smoking fetish scene by Morgana and Boss using the pupil as an ashtray. This is a must have for your collection, especially if you have the strict Catholic upbringing to boot!

Domina Irene Boss has produced hundreds of hardcore femdom DVDs, which you can find at her website. In addition, you can view a handful of Irene Boss titles in our theater.

4chan’s Rule 34 states that for anything you can think of, there is likely some type of porn for it. Dragons having sex with cars takes that idea to a absurd extreme. This meme, currently one of the top posts on Digg, consists of several paintings of dragons having sex with car tailpipes, or flooding vehicles with gallons of dragon semen.

Apparently the pleasures of a hot metal exhaust pipe is not just limited to fictional fantasy creatures. An ancient text file, “Dekhyr Dragon’s Guide to Sex with Cars,” details how one can achieve sexual gratification with a car’s tailpipe (without seriously injuring oneself). Did you know you don’t need to worry about giving a car an STD? “If you do not use a condom and you come inside the car, ten or fifteen minutes of driving will kill off anything inside.”

A notorious article from The Sun tells the story of Chris, a car mechanic and his liaisons with over 20 different automobiles, such as “Lydia, a BMW 735i that was tuned and lowered. She was special.” The childhood spark for his fetish? Knight Rider. (The car, not Hasselhoff.)

Closing out our cavalcade of strange Japanese porn are several video series dedicated to vaguely disgusting body fetishes. All titles are distributed by Cat Panic Entertainment, which specializes in catfight and wrestling videos.

There’s Armpit Master, with close-ups of Japanese girls’ armpits being licked and sniffed. Navel Master, which apparently involves q-tips and lint collection. Toe Master, probably the most normal fetish out of the bunch.

And to top it all off there’s Saliva Master, where Japanese girls spit on themselves and into drinking containers. I don’t even want to think about what they do then. I’m guessing that chewing tobacco is not involved.

Here’s a bizarre and incomprehensible Japanese website for these videos, including a grainy 5 min video compilation. Next post, we’ll head back west and into something less disgusting. Maybe.

Buried in the obscure depths of our video catalog, among the least watched videos of all (even less than the teeth fetish videos!) are a number of bizarre titles with colorful box covers and nonsensical titles, like Plover, Gold Bloom, Coiffeur, and even Who!?

Welcome to the world of shampoo fetish. These videos consist exclusively of Japanese girls getting their hair washed in various settings, with a little wet & messy thrown in. No nudity or sex, just lather. Official site with previews here.

And it’s not just the Japanese. A recent Savage Love column addressed the plight of a hairy, socially-inept man with a shampoo fetish. YouTube has a few dozen shampoo videos, and there’s even a site with hair-related erotic stories.

One must admit, receiving a good shampooing can be quite relaxing. But this gives a whole new meaning to lather, rinse, repeat!

Beginning our cavalcade of strange Japanese porn is I Love Teeth, a fetish video series dedicated to good oral hygiene, mastication and a strange obsession with dental work.

Along with the five titles in our library, the producer, Gagon.com has seen fit to produce an additional six volumes to this series. Which means that teeth fetish is popular enough to not only warrant 11 full-length videos, but also numerous portal and fan sites.

If you are so inclined to look, here’s a stills gallery and free sample clips (bottom of page).

This week’s selections, as well as last post’s “box cover of the month” come from Astral Ocean, possibly the worst porn company in America. In addition to farting videos, the company also carries pussy queefing and Indian pee titles, along with a wide selection of fetish videos, bizarre imports and low budget crap.

Claiming to have been banned in 60 countries, Fartworld Toxic Teens Gas and Butt Burps Fartland could only have been outlawed for their awfulness, rather than their decidedly unerotic subject matter. The back cover descriptions (FTTG, BBF) - complete with bad grammar, misspellings and lousy puns - tell you all you need to know about these videos.

The somewhat mistitled USA Publications produces overpriced ($49 for a 1 hr. VHS), low-budget videos of amateur catfights filmed in various countries around the world. They claim to be one of the top producers in the catfight niche (”dominating the market,” according to FHM - five years ago!) with over 40 catfight videos in our theater.

If catfighting is your thing, check out these titles in our theater along with over 200 more catfight videos! You can download and own titles such as Real Street Catfights, Russian Catfights, Portugal Catfights and European Catfights for much less than the retail price!