Weird, Funny & Bizarre Porn

Do ladies over 60 turn you on? Do you think geriatric gumjobs are hot? Are you wondering where can you go to see senior citizens doing the nasty with younger men?

Germany, of course! The Germans are the most prolific producers of granny porn (oma porno), complete with blue hair, babushkas and sagging, wrinkly skin. The Oma series from Horny Heaven features over twenty 90-minute videos (release date: “1/1900″) of hot granny action, even for those of us who don’t get a hard-on at AARP meetings!

While Germany doesn’t have a monopoly on granny porn videos, they certainly do produce some of the most bizarre. And now, your moment of zen:

Girls who wear latex and PVC are hot. They’re like pornstars, but kinkier. They’re the kind of girls that’ll do nasty things to you and then turn around and let you do nasty things to them!

And then there are the rubber fetishists. The ones who like full body suits, gas masks, artificial male bulges and giant rubber breasts. The kind that get all hot and bothered over scuba gear. The Germans (not surprisingly) are some of the more enthusiastic fans and purveyors of rubber fetish porn (German translation: gummi fetisch porno)

German studio Absurdum is one of the more notable producers of full-on rubber fetish, along with Marquis, the fetish magazine. (They have some very nice Dita Von Teese videos). American studio Gwen Media produces stylish and erotic rubber fetish videos that even a non-fetishist would like.

One of the funniest & most bizarre websites I’ve ever come across is Leather Oaks, the personal website of a leather, rubber and male bulge fetishist (”For long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated by the powerful curves of a good male basket.”)

For starters, check out the Christmas card page - 25 years of holiday greetings. My favorite pic on the site is the green He-Man getup to the left. Still, you gotta give it to the guy for being passionate about his interests. Even if it is rubber wading boots.

The first of our explorations into the world of strange adult video is this bizarre 70’s amputee porn classic. The back of the box will tell you all you need to know about this:

Jeanne Silver, a pretty amputee, appeared in men’s magazines and on San Francisco burlesque stages. She had the lower part of her left leg removed when she was a child. The remaining stump, extending several inches below her knee, is little more than bone covered with flesh. Director Alex DeRenzy uses the pseudo- documentary format to display Silver’s sexual habits. She fucks Amber Hunt during a threesome, impales two teenage students and even goes so far as to ram it up a homosexual’s ass. Long regarded as one of the more bizarre films of the 1970’s, Long Jeanne Silver fulfills all expectations for those seeking a “freakshow” event.

Ms. Silver continued to star in adult films up until 1985 (including a part in Debbie Does Dallas II.) Cultural Gutter has a fine review and brief history of Long Jeanne Silver.

Welcome to Weird, Funny & Bizarre Porn, a new blog dedicated to strange, unusual and humorous porn niches, fetishes and videos. Our first entry deals with a vaguely disturbing but nonetheless hilarious sub-genre of illustrated smut — bawdy toons of copyrighted television cartoon characters in sexual situations.

While researching keywords for this domain, the Google keyword tool associated words like “bizarre,” “weird,” “funny,” and “porn” with various search phrases for cartoon porn. The most popular are Disney characters (not surprisingly), The Simpsons, and Family Guy. Other popular searches include various Cartoon Network characters, Futurama, The Jetsons (still popular after all these years), Kim Possible, Pokemon and Star Wars.

We’re all aware of anime/hentai and the legendary perversity of Japanese pop culture. And prior to the internet age, there were tijuana bibles and underground comics that frequently used popular cartoon characters. But the sheer variety of sexual situations and popular characters in contemporary cartoon porn is mind boggling. Incest and trans-species sex are common themes. So are homosexual encounters between characters that you would never imagine.

It extends far beyond the most obvious targets — the Scooby Doo gang rockin’ the Mystery Machine, Lois Griffin in a threesome with Quagmire and Cleveland, or the buxom Jessica Rabbit in the nude. There probably isn’t any character you could think of that hasn’t been illustrated in a sexual situation, save for preschool toons such as Dora the Explorer or the Teletubbies. Even poor Lilo and Stitch have been degraded by some pervert’s pen.

Not surprisingly, there are numerous commercial sites dedicated to this niche, apparently beyond the legal reach of American copyright holders. Cartoon Valley and Drawn Sex appear to be two of the biggest — check out the Drawn Sex tour for a laugh. I should warn you; if you have cherished childhood memories of your favorite cartoon characters, you probably shouldn’t proceed any further.