Weird, Funny & Bizarre Porn

In retrospect, it seems that - despite the wide variety of filth available today - everything was just a little bit nastier in the 70s. From grindhouse flicks to early pornos, there was a palpable sense of sleaze. Taboos were being shattered, and low-budget peddlers of violence and smut pushed the boundaries of what was considered acceptable.

By the standards of this blog, bondage is just a little too common - dare we say normal - to bother addressing. But a series like Sadistic 70’s - with titles such as Whipped to Orgasm, Black Rituals of Satanic Sex Cults, and Brutal Lesbians - is worth mentioning. A collection of bondage shorts and reels, Sadistic 70s shows what bondage films were like before the big studios brought it into the mainstream.

Highlights include The Roots of Slavery, where a white couple uses a black teen slave for their enjoyment; blood drawn from chewed up cock in Sweet Bitch; anal sex, mummification and pagan rituals in Lucifer’s Lust and Cult of Sadists. Many popular 70s and 80s porn stars got their start in these bondage loops, including Uschi Digard, Little Oral Annie, Rene Bond and more.

This is a good time to mention my new website, Classic Porn Showcase. Just like this site, you can watch thousands of vintage, 70s and 80s porn videos. Plus, you get 30 minutes free!

The latest episode of Martin Sargent’s (of TechTV’s Unplugged fame) Web Drifter is an interview with Harold “Leather Oaks” Ivey, the man behind LeatherOaks.org. I’ve previously written about Leather Oaks in a post about rubber fetishes.

Mr. Ivey is a strident rubber and leather fetishist who’s very open about his passion. Here he gives Martin Sargent a tour of his home, talks about the life-sized wetsuited dolls he sleeps with and engages in a discussion about pre-cum.

Mature sex is all the rage, and we all enjoy fantasizing about the hot teacher, nurse, female co-worker or the sexy mom next door. But what about the farmer, fish monger, janitor or golf caddy?

Dream Stage presents probably the weirdest occupational sex videos ever released, all featuring mature Japanese women in some decidedly unsexy lines of work. I’ll let you be the judge as to whether these women are attractive or desirable. The mature beautician is kind of hot, in a trashy sort of way. The female construction worker, on the other hand, is not.

As an addition to last post’s fart video discoveries, I’ve found a Japanese flatulence video entitled What Is She Doing? Apparently it consists of girls crouching in random locations and making strained faces as they try to push gas out of their behinds. (I had barbeque baked beans and potato salad last night, so I can relate.)

And yes, there is a preview clip available (fart closeup about :50). The cameraman sounds like one of those guys who works on those crazy japanese TV shows, gettting girls to attach pork chops to their heads and such.

I’m going to dedicate the next few weeks to posting strange japanese porn titles, including armpit fetish, saliva and shampoo videos, and strangely-themed granny porn.

A delightfully cheesy but obscure porn classic, Robot Love Slaves is an early (1971) porn-era flick primarily remembered for being one of buxom blonde Candy Samples‘ first feature films. From the box description:

“A geeky “scientist” revives naked, dead women on slabs in his dirty basement by sticking a vacuum cleaner hose in their mouth. Reanimated but mindless, they obey his every perverted command. Meanwhile his paraplegic (actually faking), white trash wife is having an affair with some other geezer. The scene shifts to the down & dirty diva herself Candy Samples doing a three-way with another guy and gal. Then back to the catatonic hippie chicks and their horny creator who probably thought he should have received the Nobel Prize for his great achievement. “

Replete with cheesy plot, shoestring budget, ugly actors and bad acting, Robot Love Slaves is exactly what you’d expect. From the scratchy black-and-white 35mm print to the funky avant-garde Moog synthesizer soundtrack, this is a bizarre time capsule from the early days of adult cinema. If you’re so inclined to own this film, it can be purchased as a double feature with A Kinky Girl and Her Horse. (I’m not going to touch that one with a ten-foot pole.)

The video to the left gets our Golden Testicle award for: 1. The old guys high-fiving on the cover and 2. The subject in the middle is a man.

Hot Clits (warning: terrible animated gif wallpaper) is an amateur porn label out of Las Vegas run by and starring polysexual Ted Turner-lookalike Carl Hubay. Along with nailing men that dress like women, Carl fucks a wide variety of male and female swingers.

I’m convinced that this guy will fuck anything, and judging by his output, he has no shortage of partners. (Probably because he publishes his home phone number and address on the back cover of every video, as well as a crude hand-drawn map to his house.)

Even if you’re a red-blooded, 100% straight heterosexual male who wouldn’t be caught dead reading a blog post about anal sex with crossdressing men, your heart will be warmed by Carl’s hardcore plowings of relatively hot female swingers. I’d personally like to see the cutie in Teen Anal Seduction pounded like a rug. Check out Hot Clits’ streaming video titles here.

Our sister site, Japanese Fetish Videos, features a wide selection of unique and sometimes bizarre adult videos from Japan. This particular title (translated on the box as “jujuko costume play lesbian”) stands alone in its rather bizarre uniqueness. Sure, there’s plenty of mature lesbian videos, but this has got to be the first one to feature cosplay sex.

Take a close look at the front cover. Attractive, aren’t they? Now, truth be told, I took a little peek at the video and it’s actually not that awful. If older and slightly saggy asian women don’t repel you (or if they in fact turn you on) then you might actually enjoy this. It’s just that the cosplay seemed so… tacked-on.

We’ve all heard of Pam & Tommy, Paris & Rick, and some of you might even remember Tonya & Jeff. Celebrity sex tapes have brought money and notoriety to stars whose homemade sexcapades have leaked out to the public, despite any initial objections they may have had.

But a few B-list celebrities have created and released sex tapes in hopes of boosting their flagging careers or cashing in on the celebrity sex tape craze. Here are a few of the most notorious examples. Click on the box art to view the movie in our PPV porn theater.

The Tom Sizemore Sex Scandal

Bonafide celebrity train wreck and VH1 reality show star Tom Sizemore (Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down) stars in this collection of home movies released by Vivid in 2005. Between screwing prostitutes and struggling to get a hard-on, Tom bitches about his legal problems, rants against the LAPD and acts high and stupid in general. Something Awful has a complete synopsis of the video.

Screeched

Dustin Diamond, best known for his role as “Screech” on the 90s teen sitcom Saved by the Bell, stars in this recently released sex tape with his soon-to-be girlfriend and another woman. Reportedly staged, the video is replete with Diamond’s inane dialogue and ends with him giving a “Dirty Sanchez” to one of the girls. It’s assumed that Diamond is trying to shake off his child star dweeb image with this video, but instead ends up as one of the lamest attempts to capitalize on the celebrity sex tape craze.

One Night in China

Former WWE female wrestler Chyna (Joanie Laurer) and her boyfriend Sean “X-Pac” Waltman star in another purportedly staged home video filmed during a trip to China and released shortly after the Paris Hilton sex tape. Most of the video is tourist footage of Waltman acting like a stoned jackass in the presence of a government sponsored tour guide (”Chairman Mao — GAKOW!”). One Night in China is notorious for shots of Chyna’s enormous clitoris and acne-ridden ass. Something Awful offers a review with pictorial evidence.

The first of our explorations into the world of strange adult video is this bizarre 70’s amputee porn classic. The back of the box will tell you all you need to know about this:

Jeanne Silver, a pretty amputee, appeared in men’s magazines and on San Francisco burlesque stages. She had the lower part of her left leg removed when she was a child. The remaining stump, extending several inches below her knee, is little more than bone covered with flesh. Director Alex DeRenzy uses the pseudo- documentary format to display Silver’s sexual habits. She fucks Amber Hunt during a threesome, impales two teenage students and even goes so far as to ram it up a homosexual’s ass. Long regarded as one of the more bizarre films of the 1970’s, Long Jeanne Silver fulfills all expectations for those seeking a “freakshow” event.

Ms. Silver continued to star in adult films up until 1985 (including a part in Debbie Does Dallas II.) Cultural Gutter has a fine review and brief history of Long Jeanne Silver.