Silence of the G.A.M.S.
I first came across this title in a skit from TV Funhouse, a short-lived show from SNL writer and animator Robert Smigel that aired on Comedy Central in 2000. The original skit, entitled “Porn for Kids,” featured a short excerpt from Silence of the G.A.M.S. that left only the opening title, some cheesy dialogue and end credits - sans the porn. It was quickly re-edited and retitled “Porn for Everyone” for subsequent airings.
So I was intrigued when I learned that this cheesy low-budget porno from 1992 was still available. The title is an obvious, but poor parody on Silence of the Lambs. Instead of Clarice Starling, we get Charlie LaTour, a middle-aged actress who looks more like your real estate agent than a porn star. And in place of Hannibal Lecter, there’s a fat guy masturbating behind bars. There’s also a black judge named Long Dong Silver who apparently lives at the prison.
This video is about as low budget as it gets. The G.A.M.S. HQ is identified by dot matrix printouts taped to the walls. There are like three sets in the whole film. The actors are uniformly ugly and/or fat. And of course, Something Awful is there to give you a full review and plot synopsis. If you really want to own a copy of this, you can buy it as part of a 4-disc set, Classic Adult Mysteries. Or, you can just check it out in our video theater.